


Remember.

by Judgement



Category: Collar x Malice (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:41:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25439389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Judgement/pseuds/Judgement
Summary: Ichika shot him at the same time he’d clicked the button. She didn’t mind dying if it meant saving and freeing everyone from the clutches of Adonis. So why was she back at the beginning and most importantly: Why couldn’t she remember anything but a lesson taught in a church God abandoned?
Relationships: Hoshino Ichika/Undecided
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Remember.

**Author's Note:**

> **SPOILERS**.
> 
> I love the endings, especially Shiraishi’s tragic love ending and his good ending. So I wanted to entertain the idea of Ichika getting a second chance but not before Zero’s memory and the incident she went through traumatizes her. Time loop/travel fic but does it count as time travel if she doesn’t really remember any of it?

I wanted to keep my convictions, my pride. But what were my convictions? What was I even clinging to my pride for in the face of this pain? Was it worth any of it? I’d fought against the pain to keep them both but now I couldn’t even remember what they were. **  
**

What had I been fighting so hard for?

_“Ah!” The pain hit, a sharp sensation against her neck but that’s not what hurt the most, it’s the following burning sensation that travels out._

_“Hoshino,” There’s disapproval but amusement in the cold tone that single-handedly brought on the pain. “What did I tell you? This could all be over if you did as you were told.”_

_What had he told her? The pain that made her writhe, gasping and clawing at her closing throat while igniting every nerve end on fire. It was not a quick death, her throat would close just enough to make it difficult to breath. But never enough to end it before it felt like her body was being burned alive._

Oh right. _Her vision had grown dark, leaving her senses heightened to the pain._

Don’t let them see what you’re feeling. _Everything snapped back into place as her eyes opened again, an aloof expression painted delicately on her face. Dead to the things around her, to the blood at her feet and the faces sprawled on church pews around her. He stood at the end, his face had become distorted over time but she’d played through this nightmare so many times it didn’t matter if she forgot because he remembered._

_He always remembered._

_She moved, one foot in front of the other. Bare feet against the warm blood on the floor. Numb to the hand that reached out to grab her ankle and catch her empty gaze with a pleading one._

Who is he? _She couldn’t remember, a stranger no different than the one that awaited her with the remote that controlled the collar around her neck. Except the one bleeding out at her feet was crying, begging for her to stay something — anything as he spewed apologies._

What is he sorry for? _She tore her gaze away. Lingering too long could bring unwanted feelings and the confusion may just show on her face. She ripped her ankle away when she took another step, ignoring their desperate cry._

_It happened several more times until she stood at the door to freedom, but she knew better than to let herself feel hope. Even when her hand was on the doorknob and even when it clicked open to the bright light that nearly blinded her._

_“Congratulations, Hoshino.” His lips had pressed against her ear suddenly, intimately. His hand reached down to grab hold of hers, lifting it up and cradling it as if he was dancing with her from behind. “You passed.”_

Hoshino. _Was that her name?_

_He let go of her to twirl her around and grabbed hold of her hands again. Resuming the same pose as if they were about to start a ballroom dance in a church full of blood and bodies. Empty green gaze meeting the distorted face of his own, she knew she could see him but it was like she was unable to even recall the basics the moment she tried to think about it._

_His lips moved close again until they brushed against her ear._

_“Don’t forget what I taught you here.”_

_In an abrupt and rough movement his hand was on her chest and he shoved her back through the door she’d opened earlier._ Oh, _she thought belatedly though her face remained impassive to the entire situation. She felt her heart drop into her stomach, a free falling sensation overwhelming her as she caught a glimpse of his face. One hand reached for the figure that held a bitter smile on his face as he remained glued to the doorway. Growing more and more distant the further she continued to fall into the endless light._

 _Ah._ A sharp pinprick sensation she’d grown so accustomed to pierced her neck. The swelling that made it difficult to breathe easing slowly as she opened her eyes. Staring up at the ceiling of a familiar yet foreign church before she glanced at the man who was holding her like a broken doll that’d been cut of its strings. 

“Oi, did it work?” 

“Are you alright?” The man who held her looked down.

She could see how the edges of his eyes held concern even if he tried to mask his expression to hide it. 

“I’m fine,” Her voice came out flat and she leveled her gaze on him before flicking to the other two in the group who had crowded around her. 

“Idiot,” The one with hair the color of sea-foam and piercing red eyes breathed out, crossing his arms over his chest. She could see the way the tension slowly left his shoulders that despite the cruel way he scolded her for not saying something sooner. He was inwardly relieved. 

She shifted in her spot, dragging her legs under her so she could sit up as she reached for the cold collar that made her stomach knot. The gesture seemed to have caught their attention again as they all stared at the accessory with varying expressions.

“Who are you?” And why were they staring at her like that? With pity in their eyes as if this had been the first time she’d been injected with the poison that circulated through the collar.

“O-Oh, right—” The darker haired one scooted away for a moment before standing up. 

He introduced himself as Aiji Yanagi, the red-head who cast her a wary expression once he realized she was fine was Mineo Enomoto, and the aloof acting one was Takeru Sasazuka. Detectives who had apparently been informed of her situation and had spent the better part of the night looking for her.

“What’s your name?” Yanagi seemed to get the impression that her apathetic expression was from shock of some sort as he tried to tread lightly and keep her talking.

“My name?” Her hand curled around the collar, aware of what would happen if she did anything _but_ clutch the accessory. 

“I don’t remember.”

The harsh retort died on Sasazuka’s lips at the same time Enomoto’s one visible eye had grown wide and his jaw slack.


End file.
